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drtamsdiary [userpic]
Friday, January 15

Number of physicals performed: 1 - number of times avoided by Kaylee: 190 - number of breakdowns by River: 3 (relieving tedium of day) - bars of chocolate eaten: 2 (out of sheer necessity)

Tried to see Kaylee for physical today, but was unable to speak to her even briefly. Upon seeing me, she either flees or becomes deeply engrossed in conversation with Zoe or Captain or Inara. Need to find some way of making up whole toxic-stew incident to her.

Was given inspiration for gift by Wash during his physical. He was discussing his courtship of Zoe (in light of imminent invasive examination, seemed to feel need to prove himself as heterosexual as possible).

"It was just after she got shot in the leg. You don't want her as a patient, Doc. She's mean when she's hurt. She threw a shoe at Mal when he tried to bring her soup. Or maybe it was her hairbrush. Anyway, she was saying she could take care of herself, growling at everyone and about to rip open those stitches any minute. Probably not the best time to try something, but I figured bu ru hu xue, yan de hu zi, right? And, you know, since she was hurt it would give me the advantage if I had to run away. I spent the last of my cash on two oranges and a rose. Brought them to her while she was trying to get down to her quarters without putting any weight on that leg, and she just about fell the rest of the way down the ladder."

Unfortunately, missed rest of story, as was trying to plot way to purchase dozen roses without leaving ship. May enlist Book as partner in crime. Would ask Inara, but she is far too busy with work to be disturbed.

After learning Wash's family history, am not surprised he became pilot - with so much melanoma in family, spending majority of time in outer space seems sensible way to avoid UV rays.

Came back to cabin to find River crying in middle of floor, surrounded by naked chocolate bars from my hidden cache. Could not find out why she was crying, or where wrappers had gone. Ate chocolate as pure stress release - must not let such items go to waste. River watched me eat and said "N-oleoythanolamine and N-linoleoylethanolamine delay the breakdown of anandamide in the brain. Addict." Then she stole one of the chocolate bars and ran into one of the hidden cargo areas. It has been two hours and I still have not been able to find her, but another chocolate bar has gone missing.

She will eventually need more chocolate. Am wrapping a bar in plastic and placing it under pillow before going to sleep. Will inject her with sedative while she is distracted by rich cocoa confection.

03:15 - River is more sneaky than previously imagined - chocolate bar under pillow has vanished! Considered baiting her bed with last remaining bar, but ate it instead. Cannot be expected to stick to nutritious diet when insane, stealthy, chocolate-addicted sister roams ship freely and unmedicated except by tryptophan, caffeine, sugar and phenylethylamine.

bu ru hu xue, yan de hu zi - if you don't enter the tiger's lair, you can't catch any cubs.


poor simon! will he ever catch kaylee and examine her?

great story of how wash romanced zoe...

...and chocolate, yum!

Glad you are enjoying it! The suspense will continue for a while.

Mmmm, chocolate. I like Wash's attempt to prove his heterosexuality. Probably not a bad idea on a ship with such rampant slashing. ;)

Is there any character on the ship who HASN'T been slashed?

I've never run across Wash or Zoe slash, but then I've never looked. Definitely everyone else, though. Serenity is a wacky, wacky ship. ;)

There's Wash/Simon, Wash/Mal, Wash/Jayne, Kaylee/Zoe, and Zoe/Inara.

Beware the slashers, for they will slash where they will.

Because they're all pervy that way. Silly slashers. ;)

Apparently, we are. Yay for pervy slashers!

(keeping boy cooties where they belong since 1967)

(you-know-who is trying to be clever on the hoyay thread at the newB)

I have literally not logged in there in over a week. Need to do that sometime soon.