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July 2008
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drtamsdiary [userpic]
Sunday, January 17

Patients treated: 1 - roses purchased: 1 - roses delivered to Kaylee: possibly hundreds (none mine) - chocolate obtained: not nearly enough

Was woken in middle of night to learn Captain would be forced to fight a duel in the morning, and until said duel was complete, we were all hostages of a rather repulsive man named Badger. Did not think much of this - after all, have seen him dispatch men with guns and bare-handed - but learned that he has apparently never learned to use a sword.

It seems that even when I am not aware I am making assumptions in this new life, my assumptions are wrong. Still, reassuring to know there is at least one weapon with which I am more proficient than anyone else on board. If we ever have to conquer a medieval castle, I'm sure it will be a useful talent.

Crew joined together to plot a way to escape the ship. Jayne threatened to take his clothes off to provide a distraction. Just when I thought the situation could not possibly worsen, River appeared. (I will note that the preceding sentence has become a common sentiment in my journal. I hope that changes soon.) I tried to find a way to subtly get her away, but before I could, Badger took note of her.

See above statement about assumptions. I was envisioning babbling, and hysteria, and a quick trip to an Alliance prison. Instead, she spoke to him as if she came from his own world. It reminded me of when we were children at the summer cottage, and snuck down to the village to pretend we were locals. Just like then, River gave a perfect performance, completely setting Badger back on his heels and shocking the rest of us. After turning Badger into a simpering, cowering idiot, she turned on her heel, said to me, "Call me if anyone interesting shows up," and left.

As Jayne pointed out afterward, "That was exactly the kind of distraction we could have used."

By the time we put a plan together that didn't involve Jayne stripping his clothes off or making sexual advances on Kaylee, Zoe, or myself (the thought of the last still makes me shudder), Inara and the Captain arrived. Quite a relief, as I don't think I could have pulled off the distraction in question. The Captain had taken rather a bit of damage in the duel; I dragged him off to the infirmary as quickly as possible.

I convinced him to lie back on the table so I could treat his wounds. He shut his eyes for a moment, let out a sigh, and then looked at me...

...oh, no.

Must have been the combination of sleep deprivation, stress, sexual deprivation, and chocolate withdrawal. Could not, not, not have been the combination of the smell of sweat, grass and blood, the way the dress shirt showed off his shoulders, his slightly battered, beaten appearance, or the sudden vulnerable look in his eyes. (Blue eyes. Very blue. Am restraining self from making comparisons to sapphires.) For a moment, I thought he might kiss me. The ensuing medical care was difficult, as I was unable to maintain the detachment appropriate to a medical procedure and was instead acutely aware of exactly how many centimeters away from his skin I could still feel his body heat, and strongly focused on only touching him as many times as needed to complete the procedure.

Not only as delusional as River; also losing ability to construct sentences properly. Sadly, cannot treat both of us simultaneously. Sleeping with arrogant, acid-tongued captain with severe deficiency in self-preservation instinct seems exciting height of lunacy.

First Kaylee, now Captain. May have some heretofore undiagnosed weapon-wound fetish. If so, pray Jayne does not get shot, stabbed or otherwise wounded in battle; I refuse to date wu zou miaozi Neanderthal.

Did not leave infirmary for several hours, as was searching for drugs to block libido. (Sadly, none on hand that do not have severe side effects, such as temporary death.) Entered cargo bay to find delivery man balancing two dozen roses.

"Hey, you!" he said. "This here's for the lady of the ship."

"I can summon Ms. Serra for you," I said to him.

"Who?" he asked. "Naw, lad. These'm're for a Ms. Frye."

They were the first delivery for Kaylee, but not the last. By the time we left Persephone, she had received sixty roses (two dozen pink, one dozen red, one dozen white, and one dozen mixed coral and orange - am contemplating chemical castration for the man with temerity to send those), four boxes of chocolate, a basket of strawberries, a pineapple, and - the gift she was most excited over - a box of long-handled wrenches and some sort of power drill. I do not know who the Mr. Murphy is that sent the last one, but if we were remaining on Persephone I obviously wouldn't stand a chance.

Chocolate boxes seemed to lose a few grams between their arrival and my delivery of them to her. Obviously learning lessons in thievery from crew. Desperately needed chocolate as emergency bandage for hemorrhaging ego; only feeling slight pangs of guilt.

As Captain, Jayne, Wash and Zoe drove the cows onto the ship, Book returned with chocolate and a rather battered-looking, wilted rose. Could not bear to hand it to Kaylee after carting armloads of perfect hothouse blossoms to her. I gave the rose to River, who promptly fed it to a cow. The Captain shouted at me, "Don't let your damn sister poison the cattle!" and banned her from the cargo bay until the cattle reach their destination.

Kaylee has offered to share the fruit from her admirers with the crew after dinner. Will attempt to feign cheer. Then will retire to cabin to hide most of chocolate in highly secretive, River-safe location, and devour the rest. Shall obviously become criminal, obese, loveless doctor with disgraceful fat hau for wounded crew members.

wu zou miaozi - filthy barbaric
fat hau- lustful feelings


"If we ever have to conquer a medieval castle, I'm sure it will be a useful talent."


And the slash has arrived. Yay!

Oh, this was funny and cute and Simon is crazy. I can see him somewhere just eating loads of chocolate.

Now I can have a decent day at work. Excellent chapter, and those sapphire blue eyes . . . yum.

Sleeping with arrogant, acid-tongued captain with severe deficiency in self-preservation instinct seems exciting height of lunacy.

Oh my! I MUST remember not to read this at work! NO NO NO! :-) I was sitting here trying not to giggle while speaking with a client!

mmmmmm....slash....chocolate....simon.... yum!

and hee! simon was picked for sexual advancements...